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About Engage

Engage exists to provide perspective on culture through the eyes of a Biblical worldview, showing how that worldview intersects with culture and engages it.

We are a team of 20-somethings brought together by a common faith in Jesus Christ and employment in our parent organization American Family Association

Wrestling With The Sovereignty of God

07/10/2019
Victory Hollyfield
Writer for Engage

God is good. He is good, period. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I was 27 years old when I was diagnosed with what the doctor referred to as an incurable bowel disease. I remember sharing that with a co-worker and they told me my particular illness wasn’t “that bad.” Little did I know that I was about to encounter pain and drastic changes in a way I would have never imagined, especially in my 20’s.

I lost forty pounds in one month, was in the emergency room three times in that same month, and was going to the bathroom ten plus times a day, not to mention the embarrassing ways my body would act up without warning. I’m not trying to be gross here, I promise. But I do want to let you know that our suffering is not even close to what our Savior had to endure on the Cross. I didn’t have this mind frame at the beginning of my struggle. I wish I did. Allow me to help you to get to see through God’s perspective so that you can operate in a way that honors the Lord.

I must be honest. I constantly asked God “Why me?”

Have you ever asked or questioned the sovereignty of God? Why do we do that? Because we live in a culture that’s all about “positive vibes only,” and “living your best life now.” Are you seeing what I’m seeing? We are living in a world that’s so intensely self-consumed that many think it’s the godly way of living.

News flash. That self-centered way of living is sinful.

Oftentimes, we pray and ask God to change our situation and make life easier when in actuality God put us in the situations that we are in to change us. So the question is how do we properly navigate these difficult times of life? It’s not as easily done as it is said, but if you commit yourself to prayer and fighting against the sinful tendencies of your flesh, you can and will have His peace regardless of your outside circumstance.

Joshua 1:8 says to meditate on the word day and night. I take this command literally. Find key verses that you will meditate on and continue to do so until the Lord illuminates your mind with it. The Greek word for meditate means to ponder, to chew, to repeat over and over again. I have meditated on many verses but one is 2 Timothy 1:7. God did not give me a spirit of timidity, cowardice, or fear, but He did give me a spirit of love, power, sound judgment, and personal discipline. These abilities result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control.

I want to encourage you and motivate you to create a habit. Instead of seeing a trial from the introspective, “why me” point of view, ask the question “God, what is it that You’re aiming to teach and grow in me?” I’ve recently have begun to implement this new outlook and it’s rocking my world.

I still have this disease, but I trust God and I have more joy because this disease has enabled me to lean and depend on my Savior. Become a lover of His word and a devoted person of prayer and watch how God changes you more into the image of His son (2 Corinthians 3:18).

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