About Engage

Engage exists to provide perspective on culture through the eyes of a Biblical worldview, showing how that worldview intersects with culture and engages it.

We are a team of 20-somethings brought together by a common faith in Jesus Christ and employment in our parent organization American Family Association.

Not Married and Not Looking

Myra Gilmore
Intern for Engage

I recently had a conversation with a lady that ended with her saying, “It’s okay, Myra. I know God has a bigger plan for you and will send a guy your way soon!”

I honestly didn’t know how to respond to her statement. I am enrolled in 17 hours of college classes, I hold leadership positions on multiple councils, and I am starting grad school applications. I am really not “lookin’ for a man” as she said. I have a full plate, and there isn’t really space for me to pursue a lasting relationship with a boyfriend right now.

I am about to say something that might seem a little backward from the traditional Christian thought we have heard for so long, but just hear me out: I was not made for something more. My life is not a waiting period for something God might send my way in the future. I was not made to wait and waste my life waiting on “something bigger” to validate my Christianity. Because that is not what a life lived for Christ looks like. Christ doesn’t call us to idly wait until He sends us something big or worthwhile. Rather, He places us exactly where we need to be at every point in our lives.

In his book Not Yet Married: The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness and Dating, Marshall Segall points out how Christians have been tasked with the most important job—following Christ and showing His love to others. He says, “Every single person on this planet was created to say something about God.” When following Christ and showing His glory becomes our main goal in life, other things will start to fall into place according to his plan. We all have something unique to show every single day about the love of Christ. Showing Him to the world is our “something more,” but we too often miss it while we wait for the next big thing. But the big thing for us to strive for is not an abstract idea in the future, it is something we can strive for every single day of our lives.

We often get so caught up in living for something more and preparing for glorious futures that we forget to plant roots where we are. God may not give you a significant other, but He will never leave you stranded. God will always place people in your life to encourage and help you through the tough parts. College students often hear the words “community” and “fellowship” and think that this means dating or marriage. But Christians are encouraged to find belonging and community with each other outside of marriage or dating. Finding a community of people to go through life with is more important than finding “the one.”

Right now, I don’t have time for a ring on my left hand. That might change in the future, but it also might not. Either way, my plan is to follow God and do my best to find His will for my life. If God sets someone in my life who shares my plans and goals and can keep pace with my crazy life, then great. But if He doesn’t, that is great too. As long as I live my life for Christ, these other things will fall into place exactly how they should be. 

How To Find Peace When God Makes You Wait 08/20/2019 | Myra Gilmore

God has not left you hanging. He will lead you and direct you when the time is right.

Assume the Best in Your Spouse 08/21/2019 | Teddy James

The best piece of wisdom I ever heard concerning marriage.

What Proverbs 31 has to Say About Career 08/20/2019 | Hannah Meador

Are Christians free to build a career rather than a family?