There is nothing like serving in children’s ministry! What an amazing privilege to introduce children to my favorite person in the entire world,Jesus Christ. Though children’s ministry can be stressful, sticky, and sometimes chaotic, it is also filled with lots of perks: excited hugs, special pictures made just for you, and a ton of hilarious stories to tell your friends.
Let’s face it. Kids are hilarious. They say exactly what they are thinking without any filter and they ask questions that are as adorable as they are humorous. Here is a collection of some of my favorite moments in children’s ministry.
Why Jesus never married- according to a ten-year-old
“And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men,” I read from Luke 2:52. Instantly, one hand shot straight up.
“Is that why Jesus never got married?” asked the ten-year-old.
“What do you mean?” I probed.
“Cause he didn’t get along with the ladies?”
I was still confused, so he continued. “You know, cause Jesus only grew in favor with men.”
The vegetable repentance
After a very powerful lesson, our children’s minister gave the kids an invitation to respond. “If any of you would like someone to pray with you, just come find any of the leaders.”
A moment later, a blonde-haired five-year-old boy with blue eyes brimming full of tears approached me. “Do you want to pray about something?” I asked. He nodded and then began to explain. It was hard to understand him through his sobs but basically, he confessed that he had been lying to his dad. Every day his father would pack his lunch and tell him to be sure to eat all his vegetables and everyday he would throw them away.
He was so emotionally distraught that I decided to ask, “Are you crying because you feel sorry you have been lying to your dad or because this means you will have to start eating your vegetables?”
He thought hard for a minute. “Both!” He sobbed.
When your back is turned
It always happens when your back is turned. I was helping someone finish her craft one fateful Wednesday night in children’s ministry when suddenly I heard a commotion behind me. I turned around to see little Joel, eyes brimming with tears and face streaked with multiple lines of blue marker. Immediately, all witnesses pointed to guilty-faced Andy holding the blue marker. The class was in an uproar over Andy’s actions. Nevertheless, I decided to give him a private trial.
A few seconds later, I had Joel and Andy outside in the hall. Proceedings began with the prosecution. “Joel,” I began. “What happened?”
The bashful boy sniffed and then began, “He put his marker up my nose.”
“Nuh, uh!” rebutted Andy. “He put his nose up my marker!”
He put his nose up my marker? Right! It was all I could do not to bust out laughing in front of the little guy.
God the Father, God the Son and…too much Indiana Jones
After spending all night trying to explain the wonderful mystery of the Trinity, I decided to ask a few questions to gauge my audience’s comprehension.
“Alright, who are the three Persons of the Trinity?” I asked. We had only said it around 300 times by that point.
Thalia’s hand went up.
“God the Father…” She was off to a good start. “God the Son…” she was slowing down. She thought for a split second, and then added with total confidence, “And God the Holy Grail.”
And that’s when I decided two things. One, we would be discussing the Trinity again next week, and two, it was time to brush off my Indiana Jones VHS collection and watch Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
Nanna on Ice
One day while working with an outreach for underprivileged children, I decided to ask my group of pre-teen girls if they had any prayer requests. Alyssa asked for prayer for her family since they would be burying her great grandmother the next day.
After expressing my condolences, I began to get confused. Wasn’t this the same young girl who asked for prayer because her great grandmother Nanna had passed away two weeks ago? Was I confusing her with another child? Were there multiple deaths in the family? Certainly there weren’t two great grandmothers who had passed. I decided to ask a clarifying question.
“When did your Nanna pass away?”
“Two weeks ago,” she replied.
“Two weeks!” I thought to myself, “How are they just now burying her?” I didn’t want to press the issue at such a sensitive time but I just had to know. “So Nanna was cremated and you are just now having the funeral service?”
“No,” she replied. “We didn’t have enough to pay for everything. So we just kept her in an extra freezer till Friday’s check came in.”
I don’t know what my face must have looked like. But something prompted her next response: “It’s ok. Nanna was a small lady. She fit.”
Well, those are some of my highlights. But what are yours? Did something funny happen in Sunday school? Or maybe just while talking about God to your own children? Send us your hilarious children’s ministry stories at firstname.lastname@example.org for a chance to win a copy of American Family Studios’ newest product: 21 Toughest Questions Your Kid’s Will Ask About Christianity. Submissions must be 300 words or less and are due by March 4.