The Millennial Christian generation lives in a self-imposed state of age segregation. We have our youth groups, our singles groups, our youth retreats, our youth bands, even our “children’s churches.” These are not bad things, but even good things come with warning labels. Here’s a warning label for our youth church culture: Do not underestimate the value of being mentored by an older Christian.
Why should we be discipled?
The one thing young Christians have is zeal. We’re energetic and pretentious, ready to get out in the world and do great things. We’re the loose cannons of the church. We’re like speedboats in a treacherous river, and we’re in desperate need of guidance. If we’re honest with ourselves, we have to admit we really don’t know what we’re doing. The Christian life is not a walk in the park for anyone. We need the mentorship of brothers and sisters who have gone down the paths we’re just now beginning to walk on; men and women who can answer the questions and doubts we have as well as rein us in when we get too careless. We need them to add their wisdom to our zeal.
What kind of mentor should we look for?
Like Luke Skywalker searching for Yoda, we need to be looking for our own mentors. Don’t wait for one to volunteer. There are many older Christians around who would love to invest in our lives, but they need us to approach them. What should we be looking for in a mentor?
Years and experience – As a general rule, we should not be mentored by our peers. A twenty-something-year-old most likely does not have much wisdom to impart to twenty-something. A mentor should be a good bit older than us. Experience and wisdom come with age.
Humility – If you overhear someone speaking negatively of a church leader, or being disparaging in any way, then that person would not make a good mentor. We need humble mentors who have an attitude of teachability towards the ministers of the gospel. Ultimately the goal is to follow Christ, not a mentor. If the person is following anything other than Christ, then we shouldn’t be learning from them.
Love for Christ and the church – This is the most important thing we should be looking for in a mentor. The Christian walk has two parts: the vertical relationship between the Christian and Christ and the horizontal relationship between the Christian and the rest of the church. Our mentors should have both these qualities so that as we learn from them, these two things begin developing fully in our own lives.
What should our attitude be towards our mentor?
In order to have a more meaningful mentor/disciple relationship, there are qualities we should cultivate in our own lives.
Humility – We have to let go of the tendency to disregard the ideals of the previous generation simply because they may be, in our opinion, old-fashioned and unsophisticated. We must have a very loose grip on our “youth culture Christianity,” with all its music, energy, and excitement. These things aren’t bad at all, but if we’re not careful it can tend to engender contempt for the ideals of the older, more traditional generation. The older Christians deserve our respect and even our reverence. They have been walking with our Lord longer than we have.
Teachability - We must realize that even if we disagree with the older generations on certain issues, we really are just beginners and we don’t have anything figured out yet. Learn from the older Christians. Soak up their experiences and their stories. Apply the truths of the gospel they share to your own heart and life. Be changed by them as they have been changed by Christ. If this was the pattern the church followed for the years to come, then we would see each successive generation growing closer to and stronger in Christ than the generation before.
Patience – It’s true that no one’s perfect, and even the godliest mentor will make mistakes. We must be patient when this happens, retaining humble and teachable attitudes. Patience includes praying for our mentor and encouragement for them as they repent and look to Christ. It is in these times the relationship will become stronger or fall apart.
While the aim is to draw closer to Christ and not to draw closer to an older Christian, we have been blessed to fellowship alongside many brothers and sisters who have served faithfully and whose lives are testimonies to His grace. We need to take full advantage of this gift and pursue meaningful relationships with these wiser Christians all around us.
