Gossip is a sneaky sin. It feeds our most basic human traits of pride and selfishness while requiring very little from us. It is a sin I see in my own life too often. Many times I don’t notice my speech has fallen into gossip until long after the conversation has ended. Other times, someone else instigates the gossip and I go along with it. However, just because gossip is common and subtle does not make it any less sinful and wicked.
If you, like me, struggle with the temptation of gossip, here are some questions to consider that will help test the motives of our speech and hopefully keep us aware of the line between harmless and harmful conversation.
Does the matter concern me? Most gossip has nothing to do with us. This alone tells us that, beyond it being harmful to engage in this speech, we don’t even have a right to talk about it in the first place.
Do I know what I’m talking about? Hearsay murders credibility. If we call ourselves Christians and children of the God of truth, we have an obligation to be truthful in everything we say. If someone looks at me funny in passing, I cannot assume he or she is being hostile and talk about it to someone else. Or if Mr. So-and-so says something in aggravation about his wife, I cannot, in turn, go home and tell my wife about their marriage supposedly falling apart. We have to master the incredibly difficult art of assuming the best of people in communication and interaction. If we infer facts where there are none and then spread those facts around, we are bearing false witness against our neighbors.
Do my words build someone up or tear someone down? The book of James asks the question, “Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs?” (James 3:11-12). We need to consider if our words fit who we are. As Christians, our words are meant to edify other Christians and point the lost to Christ. Anything else is like a mountain spring producing salty water that profits no one.
Am I experiencing pleasure discussing someone’s problems? The reason gossip is a temptation is because it is enjoyable. It makes us feel better about ourselves when we put someone else down and talk about their many problems and what we think they should do. This is perhaps why it is so hard to stop participating in or listening to gossip.
Am I honoring God by speaking about this? If none of the above questions make us think twice about gossip, this one will. Gossip never honors God. A gossiping Christian is like a child behaving in a way that embarrasses his or her parent. Don’t we have better things to talk about? Shouldn’t the fact that our Father is an all-forgiving God hold us back from speaking slanderously about someone else?
The answer to the problem of gossip is not to police our conversations, but to bring our hearts and minds in line with those of God. And this is done primarily by prayer. Gossip stems from pride and selfishness, so we should be daily bringing ourselves before God, asking Him to replace those sins with humility, meekness, and Christ-likeness. Do we think highly of ourselves? Let us ask for a higher view of Jesus. Do we struggle with low self-esteem and try to comfort ourselves by putting down others? Let us ask God to help us be satisfied with our identity in Jesus. We aren’t left to try to solve this on our own, thankfully. If we come to God, honest about our tendency to fall into this particular sin, He will change our hearts.
