The littlest things often perplex me. Whether it is health, finances, or even canceled plans, many things quickly overwhelm me. Little things add up to big things in my mind, and it is crippling.
In December, my family and I went to the mountains for a short getaway. I’ve always loved the mountains. When we go, we go on many hikes and observe the Lord’s handiwork. But this particular trip, I had a lot of hidden anxiety.
It seemed as though my past mistakes were trying to hold me captive. Instead of spending my time marveling at creation or enjoying the company of my loved ones, I was contemplating all of the ways I’d messed up in the past, the “what-ifs,” and continuously thinking of the ways I didn’t deserve to be loved.
Then, I spotted a wildflower.
Growing in a broken tree stump, lying across the river stream, I caught a glimpse of white petals. I thought it was in such an odd space. Of all the places that flowers grow, why here? It seemed strange to me that such beauty could grow in rot and decay.
Then I remembered a verse I had memorized from Luke.
“Consider how the wildflowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith!” (Luke 12:27-28).
Quickly, and most certainly, I was put in my place by the maker of the world.
He put that flower there. He adorned it in such beauty. He planned for me to notice its little beauty in the midst of some of my darkest moments. He called me out for not having a bold enough faith to give Him my doubts.
And just like that, the words “you of little faith,” came to me and sent chills down my spine. I had lost my faith in the Maker, and it was reflecting in my day-to-day life. I took my eyes off the throne and replaced them with worldly worries that will likely never manifest.
Worry is often about control - things that we wish we could do differently or not at all. But thoughts like this do absolutely nothing except distract us from the present grace of God. Recently, I read a book entitled Psalm 91 by Peggy Joyce Ruth. In it she talks about how important Psalm 91 is and how we should pray it over our daily lives. But in one chapter she specifically talks about types of fear and how they hold us back. One kind of fear she mentioned struck a chord in me - “Dragon fears.”
Dragons aren’t real, but some of their pictures are quite scary. Ruth discusses how these specific fears are the ones that have never manifested and most likely won’t. Instead, these fears come to steal, kill, and destroy all hopes of happiness. Some people spend their entire life running from something that isn’t even chasing them.
That’s where I find myself: afraid.
I fear that what I’ve done in my past will negatively affect my future, and somehow in the midst, I miss all of the good things happening each day.
Interestingly enough, this was inside the chapter titled “The Enemy Under My Feet.” Often, when we worry, we try to rationalize how and why this “problem” is worth giving our time and devotion. In reality, every second we take our eyes off of His throne, we’re only giving the devil a stronger foothold. But when we choose to replace those worries in the fullness of His love and grace, those chains are broken, and, more importantly, we put Satan right where he belongs - under the King’s feet.
The past has been forgiven. The future isn’t promised. Live without fear in the present, for He cares for you.
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:33).
If you are a fellow worrier, I recommend memorizing and hiding Luke 12:22-34 or Matthew 6:25-34 in your heart. It’s a lengthy passage but better than any anxiety cure on the market. He takes care of whom He loves, and He loves you and me.
