My husband often encourages me to take time for myself. “Go, shopping, get a pedicure, have lunch out, enjoy a movie with the girls,” he tells me. All of these things sound absolutely marvelous. I would love to go and not have to worry about my kids or housework. But leaving the house does not mean the house leaves me. The fact is I have kids and a home to take care of, every day, all day. Not to mention that I work full time too. So in other words, I don’t have time for any of that “fun” stuff. I find myself so discouraged about very seldom getting to enjoy time to myself. Instead, it seems I always have a child with me or I am too worried about all that needs to be done when I get back home.
I lay in bed on Saturday nights wondering what other women are up too. Are they out laughing and having grown up conversations? I bet they are foot-loose and free to do whatever they want. No worries for them! I am trying to hurry to sleep because once my sweet baby girl’s carriage turns back into a pumpkin at midnight, she will wake up at least twice before sunrise. My youngest prince will also probably grace us with his presence before the rooster crows.
I know there has got to be at least one mother out there who sympathizes with me. We feel used up and worn out. We daydream of walks in the park and snow cones enjoyed alone. We see no way to get it together! It is in those times we must lean on God and trust that He stronger than the stresses we are facing. If we allow ourselves to be consumed with the duties of motherhood and marriage, we will find ourselves in a pool of self-pity and depression. I said it. The “D” word no woman wants to admit to. I have swum and touched the bottom of that pool and it is awful. Do not allow pride to force you to hide it. We have to tell our husbands when we need a break to relax or get away. Do not let yourself get bogged down by life. Christ came so that you may experience life and live abundantly (John 10:10). This includes going out to have fun away from the responsibilities of the house and kids.
“Cast your cares upon the Lord,” God commands in 1 Peter 5:6-7. Let God handle your stress for a while. Call your other mom friends you think never grow weary. If I was a betting woman, I would say they needed some time away too. Being a wife, mother, and employee is not a death sentence. But if we do not take care of ourselves it can push us to the point of breaking.
Be careful not to allow yourself to harbor ill feelings towards your spouse for getting out and taking breaks as well. In this season of our marriage, my husband gets more time to himself than I do. There are days where I would like to poke him in the eye because I am so eaten up with jealousy. He deserves a break too, and we wives have to find a peace about it. Psalm 34:14 says peace is something we need to seek and pursue. Find your peace in the half second of quiet time you get with the Lord - whether that takes place in the car rider line or the grocery store. I choose the grocery store and then I treat myself to a “real” coke and Dove chocolate covered cranberries. But that’s just me! The Bible.is app is great for listening and reflecting on God’s word, even on the go.
Just a suggestion, find something that can put you at ease for just three to four minutes. I enjoy listening to music. Find your peaceful niche. Some ladies I know read Scripture and some pray. I like a good Casting Crowns song I can sing to at the top of my lungs. I find those songs and many more that lift my spirits on Spotify. Whatever it is that helps you, do it. And when it is time to really take the night off, communicate honestly and candidly with your husband. Do not become overwhelmed or discouraged with your hectic life. Sometimes I find myself singing with my kids, “He’s got the whole world in His hands,” and I love the verse, “He’s got the mamas and the daddies in His hands.” It is so true. He’s got me and you, Sister, in His loving hands.